The Survivor Journey website has been providing an online forum for survivors of sexual assault, rape, and abuse for over four years. I'd like to take this opportunity to thank each and every one of you for having the courage to share your stories with our community, or to simply add your support.

With the holiday season approaching, we would like to put together care packages to be distributed to Women and Children abuse centers in South Africa. If you would like to make a donation that will go toward the initiative, please use the button below.

The packages will contain all the items that a survivor will need after the ordeal:

• A toothbrush and mini toothpaste
• A washcloth and soap
• Toiletries (deodorant, body cream)
• A small snack bar and drink
• Clean underwear and a change of clothes if possible
• A handwritten message of support and encouragement

Its taken years to muster the courage to share this...

Where to begin? ... Well, it was less than a week later that the savage attack of the Oklahoma City bombing was at the forefront of every man and woman across the nation. The shocking news was enough to occupy the minds of my family as well ... A kind of peace swept over me because it was now so much easier to act like nothing had happened to me.

Looking back now there are so many things i remember.  Its crazy how right after the assault you almost forget it all. Your mind blocking it all from your memory except the fear. The fear never seems to go away.  It eats away at you day by day. 

I'm fifteen now. Growing up I always remember violence in my home. From the time I could walk I was abused. My mother was and still is a drug addict. My dad works so much i never see him. He has never said he loved me. My second cousin is twenty years older than me.  And he started baby sitting me when I was five. He was a cop then. He always told me he loved me.. and i believed him. Because my parents never told me.. i wanted someone to. So i would almost do whatever he wanted. When I was six... he started making me watch pornography with him. He made me sit on his lap while he touched himself.. and then he started touching me. This went on for like a year. Finally the porn stopped.. and i just thought he was done.. but he started touching me everytime i saw him.. he made me touch him. When I was seven he orally raped me.. over and over. When I was eight I had to stay all night at his house.. He had an extra bedroom but he made me sleep in his bed. I never fell asleep that night.. he started touching me as soon as i got into the bed.. then like always.. i had to touch him. he orally raped me, and then he was on top of me.. holding me down. He told me that if i didn't let him love me..nobody ever would.. before I knew it he was inside of me, raping me. I was only eight. It hurt so bad. He raped me for hours and hours. It felt like days. My parents don't know. and never will.