{simplepopup}Thank you so much for visiting the Survivor Journey website. Please note that all submitted stories from survivors are published on the first page. It goes without saying that the stories and the website itself can be a trigger. I've however decided to allow the stories to be on the front only because I feel women have been silenced for far too long. People need to read them and know that it's happening all over the world. Will it ever change? I don't know, but I'd rather err on the side of trying than not. If you're a survivor of rape or sexual abuse, please read through the various resources, articles and stories available on the site. Only you can decide what is right for you. Whether that's reporting it or not, seeking counselling or not, remaining silent or not. Please also feel free to offer helpful comments to those who have submitted their stories. Any untoward comments will be deleted.

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I was first raped at age 13 by a ex boyfriend. I never talked about to no one at all cause I thought maybe if I didnt think about it would all just go away. Well im 18 now and the past years have been rough. I've had therapists but i could never open up to them or even tell a close friend or family, so I chose to drink my pain away and take pills and do cocaine which made it worse for me. But just a few weeks ago I turned 18 and I went out for my birthday and I went with some friends and I drank a little too much, but I got raped that night. The thing is I fought back and had blood on me. and the weird thing is this guy even said sorry, but it makes me sick knowing I was friends with this person. and I have a boyfriend I've been with for almost a year now and I told him about it and he is still with me, but I feel disgusting. Like I cant ever look at my boyfriend the same knowing I was raped, but I've been really depressed lately and I've had a few anxiety attacks. I was thinkingof going to a clinic but I just can't talk about it with someone I don't know... I don't know I'm a senior in high school and I'm so close to graduating and this has been affecting me going to school. I'm just lost...

This is just two letters i wrote to just some of the men who raped me. Excuse some of the rude words... Dear Dr. Francois Du Toit After 12years I guess I can finally tell you that you fucked me up completely! I trusted you to help me instead you were taking your time in grooming me for what you wanted and you knew from the start what you were going to do to me. I needed someone who could listen who cared about what I was going through but you had other plans for me. You were a 32year old man married with two kids and me I was just 15years old what the fuck is wrong with you! I came to the ER with bronchitis and you kept me in hospital for a week spending time with me on your night shifts as I could not sleep. You showed interest in me and my thoughts and ideas you charmed me with nice words and secret gifts of flowers and cigarettes while I was still in hospital, and yes I will admit you where handsome with your bodybuilder body and that smile and the way you spoke to me as if I was the only one you wanted to listen to and spend time with. How wrong was I to trust you to believe you actually care about a messed up 15year old girl who you had to charm and all the while you were grooming me actually putting all in place for your master plan to work. Why did you not just give me sleeping pills like any other doctor would have done? O’ yes that’s right you were preparing me for your own ideas and sick thoughts.