I am also a rape survivor. I was raped by my brother when I was 8 yrs old but lately this this came back as it was new, but thank God I overcame it. I was looking 4 this site, I just want to be involved in everything you do I am availing my self.

About a month ago as the usual weekend i would see my boyfriend for friday date night and then on the Saturday me and my girl friends would have a drunken hilarious night-in drinking at my house, after walking them home i sat on my doorstep with my earphones in listening to music trying to sober up before I went inside to go to bed I was also heavily on my period and wanted to be sober enough to take painkillers before bed as I suffer terribly in the mornings ,I was texting and I was skimming through Facebook when I messaged a friend having general chit chat, he said he was round the corner with a friend and that he'd walk down to chill with me for a chat or a walk so I could sober up with a friend for a bit, I met him and he had bought his friend he asked if I wanted to go to his friends house instead of hanging on the street this seemed rational so i asked where and when it was only close to me I agreed and told myself I'd leave after an hour at the most.

When I was in 6th grade i was a VERY happy girl. Always putting myself out there to help others spending my time with my many friends and being the new me! It was my first year of middle school i was a "big girl". After school busses where available for the high school middle school together. Whenever i stayed after i would always say random things to the people getting on the bus wanting to make many new friends! One day a sophomore got on the bus and hearing my random thought of the day proceeded to call me "Random Girl" He called me this every time he saw me. I would sit with him on the bus because to be honest i had a HUGE crush. Three years later when i started high school he was a senior. I felt cool that a senior boy was friends with me and my crush had just developed more over time. We went on a field trip december it was two tuesdays i remember. When we got back from the field trip he begged me to stay after school to take the late bus home. I obliged and stayed. We went to the library me FAVORITE place in the school but i started knowing noticing that this wasn't a normal after school outing.... He pulled me into the stacks (NEar the doors to the bathrooms in my library) and kissed me. Having never been kiss i quickly pulled away this isn't the boy i knew i kept thinking to myself. He seemed mad at me for pulling away and grabbed my arm pulling me into the boys bathroom and dragging me to the back stall. I was in shock and didn't say anything i had no idea what he was doing and i was terrified. He pulled down my leggings and pinned me against the wall and raped me. I couldn't tell you the details really i COULD tell you the pattern on the wall because at the time that is ALL i was focused on. When he was done he walked out of the bathroom like it hadn't even happened. I was still shocked and i brushed it off horrified. I became distant i stopped visiting the library and my friends pushed me away calling me too depressing and a liar. I was h horrified that he would do it again but he was back to his old self and i couldn't leave his side.... He was all I had left at that point and i hated it.... I havent told anyone what has happened but to this day (He has now graduated) I am still excluded from many of the activities me friends have and the library is a place i go only if it is COMPLETELY necessary necessary...