There are no comments up to now.
| This is not me!! |
|
|
|
| Thursday, 22 March 2007 | |
|
Hi R, Today Im, lost Im, sick, R If I look at myself I dont regonise the person looking back at me, I dont like the person looking back at me!! What happend to the girl I used to be, Will I ever get her back??? I have managed to push away everybody I love and care for, I have hurt them so much, why I dont know. I did it again R, My friend just made a litle move and I alowed him to do what he wants, he sed he loves me but the words ment nothing to me, nothing at all, every touch every kiss feels like a thousend nifes cutting in me, but I alowed him to go on, the more it hurt the more I alowed. Why do I do this?? What does this make me, easy cheap and everything my ex sed that I am. I hate the person I have become, I hate me. This is not me R, Im not like this, Im Responsable reliable independent I knew what I wanted out of life, I did everything right, now Im lost I dont know anything, I dont know where Im going in life, to me it seems Im going down hill and I dont have the brakes. Im so emty R, Last night I turned to my chat room friend for help and he was mad at what I did once again, and I think I might have lost him for good. Im messing up my whole life R and I dont know how to stop, The more I hurt the more I try to hurt myself. and the ppl that I love. I dont want to do this anymore this is not a life its not me Im dead, I cant do this anymore. Im so so alone so so hurt so so messed up so so scared. I dont want to do this anymore I dont want this life. Im sorry xxx A Hi A - The only thing I can think of is that you are being self destructive. It happens to alot of people where they know something will hurt them yet they allow it to happen. It's almost like alcoholics and drug addicts who enter rehab and feel that they have let their loved ones down when they use again. Rehabilitation and stopping the pattern of abuse no matter what type of abuse it is - starts with yourself. You have to get help to prevent you from allowing this to happen again - whether it's a restraining order or similar. You cannot allow this man to do this to you again. Your body is sacred - it does not belong to him. He has taken it so many times - don't allow him to do it again. He is feeling so powerful right now - why should you let him. He is a bastard - he thinks he owns you and tells you bad things about yourself so that you can blame yourself for what is happening - you are NOT to blame he is. He is taking advantage of someone that is so traumatized and weak by what has happened, that you no longer have the will power to resist his advances. He is the cheap coward, a vile dispicable excuse for a human being. You need to do something honey - you cannot allow this bastard to do this to you again. He cannot go on living as if you are his toy. Read your previous posts - you take giant steps forward, then he comes in and you take giant steps backward. I wish I could take him far away from you - but I can't - I can only try to convince you to stay far away from him and use every means necessary to do that. You are God's beautiful child - not this man's 'thing' that he has made you believe. You CAN do all things through God that strengthens you - I know you can. You can do anything you set your heart to believe. PLEASE do something - this cannot go on. »
No Comments » Post Comment
|
| < Prev | Next > |
|---|
Sponsor
