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Written by JM
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Tuesday, 08 June 2010 |
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After 23 years of marriage I found out that wife was raped by one of her relatives when she was 13 but she refuse to tell me how who where and when it happened , she use to tell me that she lost her virginity with a boy friend when she was 23 . How can I trust her and how can get the exact details from her??
Hi JM
I am sorry to hear that this happened to your wife at such a young age. |
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Written by Elin
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Tuesday, 08 June 2010 |
It happened in 2000, I was 13 and he was a cupple of years older. We lived in a small village, about 2000 people in southern Sweden.
He was the funniest, most popular guy in school. I was happy when he asked me out, and after a few days he invited me back to his parents house.
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Written by Ntsako
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Tuesday, 08 June 2010 |
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It might sound impossible to some victims but its not. I grow up waiting for the time I was going to be 21 yrs old. With the mind that then I will stand for my self and protect my self, then being a young adult but it turned out I was wrong. I remember on my 21st birth date I started my first job as a call centre and reception trainer at a school around jhb, it was on the 13th September 2006. Then I went home. The next day on the 14th I went to work still celebrating and after went back home to my father, young cousin [10yrs by then] and my aunt's husband the father to my youngest cousin who have 2 wives and my aunt is the third and step father to my 2 elder cousins. My aunt was out on business issues for a week, my father was in his room sleeping, drunk, and I was watching generations with my cousin and her father. I then asked him to charge my phone as we were using the same phone and mine was flat, and told him I will collect it after generations. I could have borrowed the charger
Or either ways but I never thought of it, was at home with my father in the house! I went to fetch my phone at 20h30 in his room, and then he groped me, through me into his bed... I kept on saying stop but he just said it wont hurt. I tried pushing away but I only grow weak. I thought of screaming but I was scared he might kill my father and me and go to his other wife’s and make the scene, as a robbery seems the business was done inside the house. He raped me. After I got out of the room I went to the bathroom. That feeling of being wet and dirty, anger, and scared all I could do was just cry. I went to my room and bath cause I could not sleep with that dirt on my body. I did not tell my dad I was scared they will fight and I would loose him. It all added up being a huge drama...did not report the case, told my aunt when she came back she supported me after few days she turned her back and started fighting with me saying I seduce him. My father by then he was home at Limpopo. I m
Moved out of the family house to rent in jhb from Soweto. Seems then I am staying on my own...after the whole incident it left me alone crying at night not knowing what to say to God, the one night God confirmed His dear love that was still there with me. I hated man, hated sex angry with everyone and biter inside. But I realized it’s not worth it given my life to this person who raped me. The was a time I almost bought a gun just go and kill him, but my mom asked: has he not taken enough already from you, your confidence, your trust for man and all that, do u really want to give him all you life? I was hard when she said that, but was only right. I forgave him and my aunt. Remember forgiving them is not about them it has nothing at all to do with them, cause after the rape they got married. So it’s all about me. Believe me it is possible. Just look at the scare of rape and don’t allow it to hurt for the rest of your life. If you haven’t started you second life after rape, you trying to
Run away from the pain by abusing alcohol, drugs, sex or anything just look at the mirror; cry that pain out, after smile to your self and that u still beautiful. And start your new life. Your are your own counselor, you still have the courage even if you left with one day, don’t give it to him, his not worth it. Live it for you. They victimized us, took advantage of us and hurt us, but we don’t have to repeat the same thing to our selves. We still deserve a smile not a fake one, the real one on our face. If you want to confront the do so, not to understand why they did it, the is no reason that is reason enough for that, but just tell them u forgave them. They victimized us but we can stop victimizing our self and be victorious. Now I am doing a campaign at my home village about rape awareness and where to get help together with the police of my district. I encourage everyone who is reading this message being a survivor. Let your trials be a testimony that can raise someone who is still
Down, if you were raped and not killed after, cherish your life and your body. With all my love and prayers. NTSAKO
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